In the Upbeat Piano Teacher Mastermind, we talk a lot about goals. I love goal-setting. But there’s a downside to setting goals.
If you really want to achieve your goals, you have to get good at saying no.
Here are some comments from our group. The topic was about putting students on a waiting list.
"Saying no is the worst!!! How many are on my waiting list? None. That's because I keep creating new time slots for them all!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaghhhhh!"
"I love teaching and have a difficult time turning people away. In my mind I'm saying "It'll only be a couple hours," but I know it'll ruin my whole day off."
"I have a real tendency to say yes to all students - and then my home life gets crazy."
MY PERSONAL STORY
That last quote is from yours truly. Yes - I confess - in the past, I’ve added students AFTER all my slots were booked, thinking..... It’s just 30 more minutes.
True . It's 30 more minutes of work and 30 more minutes away from my family. I always regretted it.
But recently a friend looked at me and said "You've gotten good at saying no." Really? I hadn't noticed. My immediate concern was "Have I been rude?"
But then I thought about it and decided to take her words as a compliment. It meant that I was keeping my priorities and that's everything to me.
My 5-STEP STRATEGY FOR SAYING NO
Here's a basic formula to help you have some backbone! I'll follow it up with a couple examples.
How does this play out in real life? I asked my Upbeat partner, Sara Campbell, to weigh in with a couple examples. She does a fantastic job of putting on her "business hat" when necessary!
EXAMPLE 1: SCHEDULING REQUESTS
Let's say a family wants to have lessons on Saturday mornings, but you don't teach that day.
Glad we’re connecting about the fall schedule. The studio is not open on Saturdays, but here are three options for you: Tuesday at 5pm, Wednesday at 3:30pm, or Thursday at 4pm. Let me know which works best for you and I’ll get that on the schedule! Thanks so much. Looking forward to seeing you and Sam at lessons soon!
EXAMPLE 2: MAKE UP LESSONS
Let's say a student chooses to miss her piano lesson.
I’ll miss seeing Cindy in person today! I hope she has a nice time at the amusement park! During her lesson time I’ll record a short video assignment that she can watch tomorrow at home. This will help keep us on track during this busy time of year! Thanks again for letting me know about her absence. If she has any questions about her assignments, have her text me! I’ll be happy to help.
ONE FINAL TIP
Don't delay giving an answer because you feel bad.
Being wishy-washy isn't fair to the other person and it won't "soften the blow" at all. in fact, it'll make things worse and cause hurt feelings.
If "no" is your answer, go ahead and say "no." (Confession - though I strongly believe this, I still struggle with it. Hey, I'm far from perfect!)
How do YOU say "no" when necessary? I'd love to hear!
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Going after goals isn't easy, but hey - you can definitely increase your odds of getting there faster. Yay! ✅ Start practicing these simple steps and you'll bust out your goals in no time!
Let's get right to it!
1. STOP FOCUSING ON RESULTS
Gasp! But what about goal setting?! Can't I think about that?
Stay with me - I'm not saying to ignore results. In fact, I always START there during the planning stage. BUT... once the planning is done, it's time to shift gears and think about RESULTS.
Real success comes when you get laser-focused on the actual PROCESS of reaching your goals.
Here's where it gets exciting! Let's take a real-life example that all of us are familiar with: Going to the dentist.
No one wants cavities. Or a root canal. Just the thought is painful! Yikes! 😩 No, we all want to leave the dentist office with good news at every checkup.
BUT...it's not something that we think about on a daily basis.
We don't think "You know, I really should brush my teeth tonight so I don't have a cavity in September." No way! We just do the daily habit of brushing our teeth, trusting that we'll get a good outcome at our next dentist appointment.
That's how it should be with ALL goals!
Stay committed to focusing on the PROCESS and eventually you'll get the results you want. 😃
Let's run through a few scenarios related to teaching piano:
Example 1 - You need more students.
The fastest way to see real results is to focus on the PROCESS daily. What does that look like? You could:
Now focus on one step every day and you'll be registering new students before you know it! 👊 Click here to get the planner pages to help with this!
Example 2 - You need more money, but don't you want to teach more hours.
Instead of stressing out over a lack of money, focus on the PROCESS. You could:
Okay! Let's keep going! But first, I've got a worksheet just for you to help you map out YOUR ideal steps to reach those goals.
2. STOP DREAMING ABOUT YOUR GOALS
What? You don't want me to dream anymore?!
Well...it's good to dream. Just don't stay there! 😃
Here's the truth: When it comes to goal-setting, one thing that people miss is writing down their goals and reviewing them daily.
Oh, we all know we're SUPPOSED to do that. But few people ever do.
Real success comes when you actually WRITE DOWN your goals. (Don't roll your eyes at me. 🙄This really works!) Put your goals down on paper.
Here's a great exercise I want you to try. You'll see in no time how it helps you push past "dreaming" and gets you seriously focused on what you REALLY want.
Truth bomb! The second day I tried this, I literally couldn't remember what goals I wrote on Day 1. 😳 Embarrassing yes, but I'm keeping it real.
That's when I realized there was POWER in writing down your goals. It gives you the opportunity to process what you REALLY want. And REMEMBER what you wrote down. ✅ Cause some of us need that! 🙄
If you're after serious results, don't skip this step!
3. STOP LISTENING TO YOUR FEELINGS
Oh I know this sounds crazy! But hear me out! Many times in life we WANT to do things, but we don't FEEL like doing them.
Serious results come when you focus on what you WANT, not what you FEEL like doing.
Feelings come and go. Often, they'll lead us AWAY from our goals. Let's go over a couple examples and you'll see what I mean!
Example - You want to get in better shape.
I'll be the first to admit that some days I complain - I don't want to work out!
But WAIT! That's not really true. I WANT to work out. I just don't FEEL like it. There's a big difference! Don't trust your feelings when it comes to going after goals!
Here's another example - You want to rewrite your studio policies.
Most of us won't cheer "Yippee!" at the thought of working on this project. Nope. More than likely, you won't ever FEEL like working on it. But you know you WANT to get it done.
This is when you have to be a grown-up, ignore your feelings, and do SOMETHING. It'll bring serious results in no time!
Grab your Upbeat Planner Pages + Goal Setting Guide here! Before you know it, you'll be getting serious results in EVERY area of your life!
Hi there! I'm Tracy Selle. A Christian wife, mom, and author of 101 Piano Practice Tips. I'm also a piano teacher and founder of Upbeat Piano Teachers.